It’s approaching that time of year again! Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s Eve. For some, this time of year can be incredibly exciting. For others, maybe not so much.
With the holidays come to-do lists, party planning, hosting guests, preparing meals and giving gifts. Although they all sound nice in theory, sometimes these experiences can become overwhelming and not necessary provide the joy we all imagine they should bring in the months leading up.
I know for me, when the holiday season starts to come around, I am initially excited. Excited for the parties, the people and the presents. But as they creep closer, I find myself buried under a massive list of things to do and that joy just as quickly turns to stress.
It is here, in this place of stress and overwhelm, that I can sometimes lose sight of what the holidays are really about and what’s truly important. Instead of slowing down and resting, I ramp up and ‘do’. This, for me, is the biggest cause of stress. I get caught up in the ‘stuff’ that comes along with these holidays instead of the space they can create.
Examining some of that ‘stuff’ ahead of time gives me the opportunity for choice. Choice in how I want to approach this year and the holidays that are coming. If I am conscious of what’s coming and how I have reacted in the past, and clear about how I want to respond this year, I have choice. And it’s a beautiful thing that can help me prepare and stay aligned with what this time of year actually means to me. So instead of letting the holidays control me, I choose and don’t become washed away in the flurry activity that they inevitably bring.
A few things I will be particularly conscious of this year are:
Time
I am fortunate enough to be able to take some time off work during the holidays. It’s a time to relax, rest, and rejuvenate for the year to come. This is what holidays and ‘time off’ are supposed to be aren’t they? Yet in past years, I found myself not resting or relaxing at all; instead, I was finding ways in which I could fill this time and space with something, even if wasn’t work.
This doesn’t serve me at all! I have been going all year and by December, I need a break. So why would I jam my calendar with social events, create a to-do list longer than my wish list, and spend my time running around and stressing when I could be at home under a blanket with a hot drink in hand?
It is a choice. And this year, I will be choosing to do less in an effort to really take the time I need to rest, relax and rejuvenate my mind, body and spirit so I am ready for the year to come.
Money
One of the easiest ways I lose track of what the holidays really mean to me is through the unnecessary spending of money. And in some cases, money I just don’t have.
According to an online survey, people over the past couple of years have spent less on gifts than in previous years (which is a good sign!); however, the overall cost of holidays for consumers has increased.
Not only are we spending money on Christmas presents, cards, and hostess gifts, but entertaining costs can add up quickly and be quite expensive.
Not to mention the holiday décor! Oh my, the decorations. And for a Design Psychology Coach like me, atmosphere and ambiance are incredibly important, especially around the holidays. Just walk into your local HomeSense or Home Goods store and look around! Don’t grab a cart though, because that can be trouble for the likes of me.
I think of all the ways in the past I have spent money on unnecessary items. A new theme for the Christmas tree (what was wrong with last year’s?!), a $40 candle on every surface of the house, floral arrangement after floral arrangement for my tables and those who are kind enough to invite us over. The list goes on. And I haven’t even fed anyone yet.
So this year, I will be conscious of not only how much I spend on gifts, but also where else I am spending my hard-earned money on temporary, outside fixes for joy when my joy of the holidays actually comes from within.
Energy
As somewhat of an admitted introvert, my energy (or lack thereof!) is just as important as my time or money. If not more so.
It sickens me (literally, my body hurts) when I think of the amount of energy I expelled in past years on things that didn’t matter. The ‘things that didn’t matter’ list is a big one for me when I reflect back on the previous years. For example:
- I stressed about the house not being clean enough for my guests and ran around in circles for days making sure everything was absolutely perfect. Within two hours after they arrived, it was a disaster (coats, shoes, presents, food, dishes, dogs) and we ended up sitting in that mess for endless hours that evening. That mess was the most beautiful part of the holidays and without it, there would have been no people, no laughing, no animals, and no fun. But the house would have remained perfect. Perfect and incredibly, incredibly sad. So this year, I apologize to my guests in advance if there is a plate in the sink when you arrive, a bit of dog hair in the corner and the toilet paper isn’t folded on the corners as it is in a hotel. This year, that energy I spent previously will remain mine. To invest in my guests when they actually get here.
- I worried that my food wasn’t good enough and no one would rate me and my kitchen 5 star. The truth is I’m not even that great of a cook on my best days, so why would I expect perfection from myself this time? As long as the turkey isn’t charred and the potatoes aren’t ice cold, who cares if I can whip up a MasterChef meal? My guests have always thanked me, appreciated my efforts and the words ‘this was terrible’ were never even muttered (unless they were behind my back but I don’t have those types of friends so I can be fairly certain!). This year, the StoveTop stuffing might have to be enough, especially if I am into a good book!
- I contemplated endlessly if my gifts were enough. To my spouse, my family, my friends and anyone else I may have purchased for. Did it look cheap? Was it expensive enough for their taste? Did it show them truly how much they mean to me? Although for me, gift giving is one of my love languages, it’s the energy behind the gifts and what they mean to them and to me that matters, not the price tag. So this year, I will continue to find meaning and joy in my giving without worrying about the price tag, the brand or the store it came from. Some of my most precious received gifts I am sure don’t exceed $20.00 and I couldn’t live without them, or the person who gave it to me.
So this year, I will be keeping a close eye on my energy levels. When I feel tired, I will stop and rest. When I feel overwhelmed, I will take time to take a breath, and when the stress creeps up on me, I will devote time and space to self-care to ensure my energy levels stay top notch. After all, this is when I can best show up for myself, my family and my friends in the most present way possible. That sounds like the best gift I could possibly give to myself – and to them.
In what ways can you be more conscious in preparing for the holidays? Your time? Your money? Your energy?
By asking yourself these questions, you can make choices that support what you really value this time of year. By taking control of the uncontrollable, you have choice. And choice feels sooooo good!
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